Tuesday 7 July 2020

Do Words Have the Power To Kill?


I am among the few from the film industry that continues to question why Sushant Singh Rajput was bullied in the period leading to his death. Some of my friends have come to the conclusion that Sushant was depressed, couldn’t handle the stress that came with the movie industry, and therefore took his own life.

Firstly, I don’t know how they have diagnosed Sushant’s condition whilst sitting on twitter. How do we know what kind of depression Sushant suffered from? We have no records of his mental health history. What we do have are about 30 blind pieces in the public domain, all that carried some appalling, destructive ideas about him. Why are we so afraid to allow a discussion on this?

Simran

In 2017, I had a very public fallout with director Hansal Mehta on Simran a movie I had written and was editing. Unbeknownst to me, the films lead actress, Kangana Ranaut, was promised to be credited as the films co-writer, but I was only informed of this after I had cut the film. Needless to say I felt betrayed. I fought a long & tiring battle to ensure that I was not discredited. And though the title finally did appear correctly, the experience exhausted me. I was heartbroken that a lot of my industry folk chose to remain silent.

I had fought the system, not just to ensure that I didn’t get bullied, but also to set a precedent for writers to stand up for their rights. I was naive to think that truth simply sets you free. It does eventually, but you have to go through so much muck, slander and opposition, and IF you survive it, then maybe it can set you free.

All sorts of nonsense was written about me. One piece claimed that I didn’t edit Satya, my first film that I also won a major editing award for. Another claimed that I didn’t co write Shahid, a film I jointly won a screenwriting award for. My name as co-writer was suddenly dropped from Shahid’s IMDB page (its still remains taken off). One portal, Spot Boye! tried to claim that even Aligarh, my most personal work, was stolen from another writer. This journalist called my writing collaborator, Ishani Banerji, and tried to get her to talk against me. When she refused, they carried a headline that seemed like she had implied that I shortchanged her. I was really upset. 

I used to stay awake all night, putting together proof to dispel their lies. I was fighting a lone battle against journalists from leading tabloids, who wrote all kinds of unsubstantiated shit about me. I started to become depressed.

Fortunately, some producers did reach out to me and offered me work. One of them was Zoya Akhtar, who breathed hope into me by giving me Made In Heaven to edit. Also, Manoj Bajpayee, the lead actor of both Satya and Aligarh, stood by me. He publicly endorsed my work on both those seminal films when it mattered the most. 

Yet the stress was too much, and I woke up one morning to realise that half my face was paralysed. I couldn’t shut one eye, my speech was impaired and I looked like a freak. I learned that I had a nervous condition called Bells Palsy and it came with severe vertigo and vomiting. I was too sick to edit the climax episodes of MIH, and someone replaced me to finish the series. It was a very painful period. I cried myself to sleep on most nights and stopped getting out of the house. I felt humiliated, let down by my ilk, and was absolutely shattered.

If Manoj Bajpayee hadn’t stood by me, and If I didn’t have the kind of familial support around me, I might have given up the fight and opted to take my own life. I was lucky. Not all are.

Broken Wings

My fight for Sushant is not born out of vendetta for anyone. I am speaking up because I identify with him. I understand what he may have gone through when a campaign was run to destroy his career and his credibility. I see him as a non-conformist, like me. Maybe he too, couldn’t stand the parties, the fake hugs and the air kisses. Maybe he too couldn’t stand bowing down to some overrated filmmakers and actors who treat people like commodities.

I didn’t know Sushant personally, but I know this of so many young actors who come to Bombay with dreams in their eyes; From simple, middle class families, with quintessential Indian values, they enter this dazzling, cut-glass, Gucci clad world of A listers. Their rights of passage almost always involve having to sleep with men in positions of power. Read model and actor Himanshu Malik’s brilliant and brave account of the industry through the eyes of an outsider. (https://www.knocksense.com/mumbai/inside-bollywoods-outsider-insiders-account-of-life-in-hindi-film-industry).

In my 20’s (I had cut Satya before I turned 19), directors called me to hotels for narrations. Once, as I waited in the lobby for a director, I got a message that the meeting has moved to his room. There the director was alone, in his bath gown, displaying an unsavoury view of his privates. I ran. Then once, I got invited to a journalist's birthday party, only to discover that besides his boyfriend, I was the only guest invited. Like vultures they circled me, till I beat a hasty retreat. Once, I was befriended by a journalist, and we grew to become friends. But when he started landing up at home with baked dishes and flowers, I began to suspect that I was the object of his affection. I told him honestly that I was in love with someone else. That was it. He cut off from me, ignored me if we met, and never, I repeat never, mentioned me in his reviews—even if the film and my work was highly acclaimed. And then there was that magazine editor...anyway you get the point.

It is a pretty tricky situation. You need to be nice to them, make sure you don’t offend them, and they interpret it as you being easy. There really is no winning this one. 


Yellow Journalism 

Then the articles began. Some claimed that I was an untalented, one-hit wonder. Some pieces claimed that I had left the country to live with my lover. Of course none of them carried a byline, and many described me in detail, without taking my name, so there was no one I could confront. I found that when they wrote pieces or made TV specials to remember an anniversary of one of my films (for which I had won a Filmfare award), they would forget to interview or even mention me. This treatment went on for years, and I couldn’t say anything about it, because how do you ‘out’ yourself, ‘out’ the predators and prove that this is what really happened? 

In the #MeToo movement there is a very powerful slogan that says ‘believe the woman’. Try saying ‘believe the man’, and people will laugh. And if this happens to an editor and a writer, what must handsome male actors go through on an everyday basis? 

Sushant had a series of cowardly blind items written about him that could have broken even the toughest of spirits. He was called a skirt chaser, unprofessional, some claimed that his films were duds, one even named him in a #metoo accusation and called him a rapist. Sushant had to post screenshots of his chat with the alleged victim to prove that he was innocent. Can you imagine what he must have gone through in the nights and days leading to this death? This middle class boy from Patna, a few years in maximum city, working hard to realise his dreams; but he had to expend all that energy, relentlessly fighting this dirty, unfounded slander.

Success Denied

Also remember, here, if you don’t pander to the whims of the powerful, you are a trouble maker. If you speak up against unfair practices, you are a trouble maker. Watch Sushant in so many of those film promotion videos, he is pretty much ignored by the fraternity. I wish he had spoken up. But he may have taken the advice of ‘well wishers’ who easily dispense advice like, ‘don’t talk, let your success do the talking’. 

So the boy marched on. Inspite of not having the support of his peers, he gave his all to a film called Chichore. The film was made by the director of the successful Dangal and the expectations were high. But surprisingly, it opened to average reviews, and the general buzz on the film was poor. It was only after Sushant’s death, that I learned that the film had been a hit, and had grossed over 200 crores!

Now when an ‘A list’ actor’s film just about breaks even, the occasion is celebrated by splashing the actor all over the press. New associations spring up. Big films are signed. Other stars photograph with you. I saw hardly any of this in Sushant’s case. And this begged the question; Was he denied his hard earned success by his peers? Was the stupendous performance of his film underplayed? Could this disappointment, that nothing he did would ever make it right, be the final straw for him?

Who Do We Blame?

I tweeted to name the people/publications behind the sustained blind items against Sushant. I also named popular journalist Rajeev Masand in my tweets, because most of the blind items about Sushant doing the rounds, some of them incredibly mean, were written by him in his Open Magazine column. But by no means do I intend for him, or any portal to be singled out. There is a bigger system at play, with so many different kinds of characters functioning oppressively since time immemorial. How then, can one person be held responsible for Sushant’s death? But to accept this system as the norm, and to shut people up from calling out the wrong doers, that is unacceptable too. 

I am not surprised to see that I am being ostracised by many of my industry peers for taking on this fight and naming names. Besides Manoj Bajpayee (thank god for him!), not one industry person has reached out (so far), even privately, to say that they are with me. Soon, someone will try to discredit me with some slander on a portal or a tabloid. But that doesn't scare me, I've seen these games played before. 


Was Sushant An Unstable Person?


Right now, the few that are responding to my tweets are chiding me for having an hidden agenda. Some are saying that I am derailing the conversation on Sushant's mental health. 


It shocks me, that people who didn't really know Sushant, didn't know his mental health status, want to close this conversation by labelling him as an unstable person. An actress I kind of respect, said to me on Twitter that she was sure it was depression that killed Sushant. She added that depression is something you are born with and it cannot be caused by external situations. I told her that this is absolutely UNTRUE! 


While there are clinical and hereditary factors that could cause certain types of mental illnesses, ANYONE can become depressed without pre existing conditions. It is also a fact that environmental factors can play an important part in the onset of depression. Here is an excerpt from a reliable source, with the link.

Are people born with a mental illness?

No. A vulnerability to some mental illnesses, such as bipolar mood disorder,can run in families. But other people develop mental illness with no family history.

Many factors contribute to the onset of a mental illness. These include stress, bereavement, relationship breakdown, physical and sexual abuse, unemployment, social isolation, and major physical illness or disability. Our understanding of the causes of mental illness is growing.

https://www1.health.gov.au/internet/publications/publishing.nsf/Content/mental-pubs-w-whatmen-toc~mental-pubs-w-whatmen-myth

Depression can be triggered by bullying too. A large number of LGBTQI people suffer from depression because they have been bullied or abused. I can tell you for a fact that I have no family history of depression, but I still underwent 6 months of severe depression after the Simran episode. It is very likely, looking at the blind items, at at the lack of camaraderie with Sushant at film events, at the jokes on talk shows made at his expense, that he felt bullied. Why is there such reluctance to even have this conversation??


Going Forward

I contacted a few publications to carry this article, but either they didn't respond, or they seemed in no hurry to take this forward. This is one of the reasons I decided to resurrect my blog after seven long years. I feel determined to continue this fight, because I can sense that the public isn't giving this one up. Sushant was one of us. His death has affected people in the depth of their hearts. This isn't like some trending hashtag that will disappear on a twitter timeline. It is an important fight, not only for justice for Sushant, but to ensure that no innocent talent gets snuffed out by an abusive and unfeeling system again. 

Going forward, I'm not one to ask for heads to roll. That won't solve the problem or bring back the departed. I just hope that some of my journalist friends will examine how they write about a celebrity or a film in the future. I know of several film scribes who take pride in proper research, in getting their facts right, and in writing with responsibility and balance. I hope it is them, and not the blind item experts, that will be emulated in the future. 

I also want to request the authors of blind items to write with caution. A mere story on your page is actually a real, beating heart, living a real life somewhere. Please remember that just like you are sensitive about what is said about you, so is the object of your piece. In fact they maybe far more vulnerable, because they are actually putting themselves out there. 

Maybe your words don’t have the power to kill somebody, but they certainly have the power to chip away at a spirit that is trying hard to stay alive.

                                                                                                                     ----Apurva Asrani







184 comments:

  1. Thank you for writing this. More power and much love to you.

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    1. This is a beautifully written article/ blog and expresses clearly what the writer has gone through and why he feels so much for late beloved sushant.
      The tone of this writing tells an honest story and a genuine concern for all the talented actors in the industry who dont have a god father and have to go through a lot of stress to be able to even survive in this glamourous looking and filthy stinking industry , we all look upto with awe.
      This writing exposes the filth in it and how...without exposing too many names ...but still gives a strong message and surely tells us that- all that glitters in not gold.
      My heart goes out to such brilliant writers and artists who have gone through hell and still survived and lived on their own terms and not fallen prey to the hungry for power not so talented bunch out here that we are reading about all the time these days.
      More power to you Apurva and to all those hardworking talented artists out there- do your best and worry not, let your talent ooze out, people are now ready to make you a big star based on your merit, you wont need journalists and reviewers to write about you, your work will do the talking and telling ...going forward and the bullies will be careful for sure.so go out there and be bold...do your bit and enjoy and love your life...its precious...dont let it go for some very umimportant insignificant people who anyways dont matter...believe in your self and your work.

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    2. Thank you so much....i respect you even more now for raising for voice against the ill practices of bollywood...

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    3. Acchi gaand maari...more power to u

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    4. Beautifully and very articulately written article. More power to you. Always try to please ur soul and keep fighting for yourself and rise like a shining star. bless you.

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    5. This article NEEDED to be written. The last blind was published on 13th June. On 14th June he decided to end it all.

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    6. More power to you Sir. Very beautifully written. Shows how Bollywood works to the general public. Just can't get over the death of a brilliant actor. He had so many different talents Sometimes, just feels maybe he could've gotten out of Bollywood and pursued his other interests. A father wouldn't have lost his son and sisters, a brother. The world, a beautiful, innocent soul.😞😞

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    7. Atleast you have the courage to speak..rest of the people of that fraternity are cold,blind,cruel,deaf,bloody criminals..sushant was from normal family but he was special..we have lost him forever because of such hypocrites such cruel insensitive people we call hero who are as fake as their lives itself

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  2. Thank you for this. Very important article that had to be written by an insider. Hope it's taken in the best spirit possible.

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  3. This is powerful. Thanks.

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  4. I agree with you,people should understand not to write something which hurts so much deep, or should write only after full research... Just imagine what a person may be going through because of your words...

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  5. Though I believe that this kind of 'politics' prevail everywhere and one should not proclaim victim card, but sometimes it needed to be speak out, to bring forth and front.

    I love your work. Aligarh is a masterpiece. An Oscar worthy.

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    1. Glad someone besides me saw the Aligarh Oscar worthy .

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    2. I have watched it alone in theatre, loved it, especially that line-"poetry lies in comas, spaces".

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    3. Thank you so much sir to reveal the black truths of Bollywood. More power to you.

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    4. I just hate bollywood now ..

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  6. thank u so much sir..atleast someone is there in fake mayanagri who has guts to speak truth...we will not let u down...this fight will end when all these pseudo ppl will get a lifetime lesson

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  7. That's great to reviel the truth like u have done! We're with u! More support n strength to u!

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  8. This is an excellent piece and first time I wholeheartedly agree to whatever is been written here and it just made my perception of few people like karan johar and masand correct. karan is known to get people to bed and if they refuse he starts bullying them via masand and company.

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  9. I meant whatever i have been reading about sushant since his death. This is the first piece without any malice against anyone particular

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  10. It requires too much strength to speak out. More power to you. Satya mev jayate!!

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  11. Hi spread your fragrance of goodness. The evil-live off pure souls like you and Sushant because you are blessed by millions.

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  12. Thank you for this. You are right, the people aren't willing to give up on this, this isn't some trending hashtag. And how much ever insiders try to absolve their guilt, they know what they have done. This will def be a change for Bollywood, it's unfortunate that it needed the death of one of our bright stars for this change to come about. Thank you very much for talking about this.

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  13. Stay strong we are with you go go we fight

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  14. We need you in this fight Apurva, thank you for this! Please dont ever back down

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  15. Sir, your blog supports us very much in getting the Justice for Sushant and others. God may help u.

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  16. Thank u showing us a fake life of
    b-town....U wrote people hug and kiss each other....But all are fake...Exactly ....This all happen in every industry....U are good one god safe u...But sushant was not lucky....

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  17. Thank u so much sir....it is indeed a powerful message for people out there...i hope that he gets justice and media realises that their irresponsible behaviour is affecting many...more power to you to take such a strong stand against this cruel doings of the industry

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  18. More power to you apurva.keep fighting

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  19. Thank you Apurva, this needs lots of guts to speak up. We need to fight till Sushant gets Justice. And to avoid it in future..

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  20. Bravo.....thank u for writing this. We need more like u.Thanks Again.

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  21. It's an eye opening . Well, as I know any the whole B'wood industry it seems like a desert with lack of emotion,lack of heart, lack of humanity, lack of kindness towards the newcomer. Now I can assure to all the audiences that this incident will create a new ara of B'wood.

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  22. Very true. I have Unfollowed biased and nepotism sponsored kids from my list. Be Brave.

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  23. Thank you for this one . You are a fighter ! More power to you!

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  24. I respect u for your courage and honesty to speak the truth. To help us understand the dirty politics of these goons, to help us understand what sushant was going through. That poor guy had immense pure talent. Whosoever bullied him, posted fake posts, spread fake rumours should be thrown in jail. I somehow feel ashamed and guilty for nit supporting this pure talent by watching his movies in theatres. I only watched dhoni. I wish i could have seen more of his film's, rather than watching some star kids or stupid actors who don't know how to act. But not anymore. Going forward i will only support true talent only.

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  25. Keep going Apurva! Thanks for putting this out there!

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  26. Bravo Apurv, for writing this. And very rightly said, people are not going to give up on this. This is not some random Twitter hashtag. I will be tweeting everyday on this. People like Masand and Karan johar should die in shame for they have done to Sushant. Even if I sound ridiculous in saying this, I still wish only death upon them

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  27. Well said and correctly said. Thank u for writing this up. Not evryone as u said wud want to speak up. May b thu dnt want to gt in to d bad books of the biggies or thy dnt care n this is just anthr reason.
    N rightly said this time we will nt let go bt stand by Sushant n upcoming talent. This cannt repeat!

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  28. Well said sir .. thank you for your effort and zeal. We as an audience have now to take step and stop the growth of nepotism by boycotting the Karan Johar's and mukesh bhatt productions and all those star kids films.
    Lets all stand and be with Sushant and keep him alive in our heart because we dont want another Sushant to take this step.

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  29. An extremely well written article that has touched upon many a sensitive point. Keep writing. And never give up Apu.

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  30. Kudos to u sir! U said it all. Brave & honest ppl still exist.Thanks for sharing what u have gone through not everyone is strong enough to speak the truth u dint bother what big shot ppl will think about u. MORE POWER TO YOU SIRJI! WE WANT JUSTICE FOR OUR SSR!

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  31. Every word can be resonated with! Brutally honest and true balanced picture of what exactly is going around in Film & TV world!

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  32. its not a suicide Sir,it wasnt depression that took his life..but he wasnt allowed to live..he was murdered..

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  33. Thank you for putting up this in open. Respect.🙏

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  34. You have my support buddy (for whatever it’s worth)!! More power to you!! I always loved Sushant so much, since I first noticed him in Shuddh Desi romance. I particularly followed all his interviews. Always left me inspired. We needed him to keep things real. But don’t worry Sushant, we’ll keep it real, always!!

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  35. I'm not an Indian but I've been very fond of Sushant as I saw him as an extraordinary human being . Being an actor was just something he was passionate about. But he was beyond all that. He had a brilliant mind with knowledge of many subjects which I used to listened when he talked. Many people could not understand him sometime not even the interviewer. It's very rare to find people like Sushant. What a loss to mankind , to India and to the world. He would have been a brilliant ambassador to India. You people lost a gem.
    I respect and admire what you're doing and the pain you have been is unbelievable. I'm so sorry for that. I hope India will put an end to this Bollywood mafia . Such a spiritual country like India should not encourage this kind of attitude and behaviour in the industry where true talent is not being recognised and not given the rightful appreciation. I truly believe that as Sushant has left a foot print in our lives , there will be a change and justice will be done to that sweet boy who had a childlike innocence in him.

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  36. I want to be an actress, but these days reading every dirty thing written about the industry... The journey seems hard and unworthy. More power to you sir. People like us who come to Bombay with dreams in our eyes have an undying spirit.. But sometimes it breaks too..

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  37. Great thots n power to u.. appreciate your honesty n feel sad for the putrid stench in your kingdom which is too all pervasive.. commerce killed soul n humanity ..n most I believe are mentally unstable themselves with serious insecurity n bullying mentality which they wreak on anyone who has lesser power . Sad.. but hey - Karma is a bitch

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  38. This is all heart felt and thank you for saying it as it is. I feel the public needs to know these things happen. As for Sushant those who claim that it was depression probably don't know anything about him. I feel he was a bright star, talented, intelligent, interesting, warm, kind, exuberant towards Life in many ways. Unfortunately people just didn't get him, misunderstood him. I strongly feel he didn't take his own life. This article is so important for the public, an eye opener. Public has power and we need to use it wisely!

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  39. Cannot thank you enough sir. Immense respect and love for you. The reluctance to speak about the issue is just shocking. More power to you.

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  40. Very well articulated !! More Power to you !! Respect !!

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  41. So glad that even the ones who need to realise this ( the actress you mentioned) are atleast acknowledging and engaging in a dialogue with you and will hopefully take it home too. Instead of feeling victimized people need to acknowledge, apologize and consciously stop being vile and mean ( instead to just stopping comments on instagram)

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  42. It is true that people do politics everywhere, they play mind games & dirty games too..But seriously at this level??? which can finish someone life, I hope now people stop ruining someone life because we have lost something very big, a gem and this loss is unbearable

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  43. They wanted to fit him into a box and he was too big for it. He was larger than life. I truly respect him for staying true to himself till the very end. May he rest in peace wherever he is.

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  44. Thanks for all your support to Sushant... more power to you.. stay blessed and happy always 🙏

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  45. Its horrifying to know the way this industry works from an insider. While favoritism and nepotism etc are everywhere, seems in this industry, once entered, there is no way out. In other professions, one can still survive, change the work. Issue also is with people who are really star/star makers here, barring few, are almost illiterate and thus the thought process seems to be limited, shallow and power hungry. I regret to say, talented people, lets say who are from film institute etc, remain in character roles only, we the people also fail them. Bhai type people are the stars as masses like to see them.Its puckish to see them talk sometime - Karan, Kareena kapoor, Sonam kapoor, Ranveer kapoor, Arjun kapoor but they have money and fame and in their bird brain they must think they are deserving. Its not true but of course to know that one needs gray matter, missing with them. Oh this boy, this sense of loss of one bright life. Hope this loss brings the ugly face of industry out so that right people start being recognized.

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  46. Beautiful article, one of empathy and the good fight.

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  47. Thanks for sharing your experiences through your blog. It is indeed heartening to see few brave people in industry who are ready to stand up for truth and justice. More power to you Apurva.

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  48. Keep it up... We are all together and fighting for getting justice for our lovable golden boy SSR... Thank you. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

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  49. Thanks for summing this up for the general public Mr. Apurva. Your blog is sensitive yet nails down everything perfectly. Sushant’s death has shaken common man as he was one of us. Such a brilliant mind who was a misfit in the fakery called Bollywood. Thanks again for writing this piece. Truth has an incredible way to come out. Whether the entitled elite want it or not, it has !

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  50. Thanks for putting up all this in words , a reality check to many

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  51. Very goodyahi halat sushant ki thi kamino oh god where r u phir v aaram se maze se ghum rHe hn

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  52. Very goodyahi halat sushant ki thi kamino oh god where r u phir v aaram se maze se ghum rHe hn

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  53. Dear Apurva, Thanks for sharing your blog with us. You dont need a publisher/Channel to share your views as you have presented your case so beautifully. I am yet to get over what happened with Sushant. I was not aware of Rajeev Masang's blind items which was murky, filthy and atrocious to say the least. there should be legal action against him. This was a pure play mental harassment. In Corporates, there are policies for employee Well-being against Hostile Work Environment. Unfortunately, Bollywood is such an unorganized set up that you cant think of putting a Corporate structure into it.But I am so thankful to you for sharing this blog. I felt chocked while reading it as its so relatable. You have been a fighter. Please be the torch bearer for the small city aspirants who enter the city with big dreams in their eyes. I come from Sushant's city, hence it feels even more personal. It's a dreadful, painful feeling to be ignored, bullied and not being rewarded for your good work. However, have to add that the real issue is workplace bullying, favorite clubs and not really nepotism. The way the star kids are being targeted is also not good and I am sure SSR would also not have liked it either. I am genuinely worried for their mental health now.

    Take care of yourself, stay happy & meditate.

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  54. Thank you for writing this. Blind articles are the worst and i really hope they would hold those who write these articles acountable. Thank you for being brave enough to write this

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  55. Thank you Apurva for writing this! I takes a great deal of courage to speak your mind and to bring the truth to the masses. I wish you nothing but the best in your career. You were indeed lucky to come out of everything stronger and wiser. We will always remember Sushant for what he is. We, as an audience, will not let his bullies win!

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  56. Thank you for writing this. More power and success to you. Every word you wrote resonates with me. I was in a similar situation, post marriage. Always having to deny, justify, explain because of the slander spread across by my in-law and family. What you said is very true, words don’t have the power to kill somebody, but they have the power to chip away at the spirit. More power and success to you..

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  57. Thank you for writing this up and penning down the exact argument that is ignored in all the bitch-fight.
    The story coming from somebody in industry has more weight than a gossip sub.

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  58. Appreciate you writing this! This had to be said and glad you wrote it in the most dignified way possible. Very very good read!

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  59. Thank you for writing this!

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  60. Dear brother, I saw Sahid and instantly it reminds me of Satya and then soon I find out the connection between the two films. The rhythm and pace created by your editing. Thankyou for writing this Post.

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  61. Thank you for this amazing write up.. made me super emotional. More power & support to you Apurva!

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  62. thank you for writing this piece. It affirms the truth which is spoken on social media.Such a talented soul was brutalized in name of his dreams. My bones chill at mention of your experiences. I would commit suicide if someone did that to me in my line of work. Where have we reached in our own free country. We have turned slaves to some hooligans planted by underworlds and use as means to convert their black money into white. Hindi movies have descended from 70s plagiarism to soft porn genre. Its disgusting that country of stellar legacy has become such a cacophony in name of show business. Time to pick up the broom, clean up the mess one monster at a time..No one is intrinsically born a monster. People turn into monster as way of system adaptation. You want to change the system.. Deprive the monster of precious oxygen it needs. Public is the only currency which makes movie what it is.. no public, no movie business. Let's Gandhi 's advice to the practice.. Non co-operation with movie mafia.. they can watch their movies all the want with their harem.

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  63. Great that somebody wrote about it. We must carefully choose what we watch and more importantly what is boycott. Especially nepotists wouldn't get my money ever.

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  64. Thank you so much for this. More power to you in this dirty world.

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  65. More power to u . Please keep writing,the truth you told , No one wants to hear or see in film industry of nepotism. You r brave n courageous. I just feel , people like u , sushant n many others should take help of therapist , the mental illness is the horrible thing that all go through. Keep it up dear.

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  66. Thank you for writing this. It takes a lot of courage to call a spade a spade. More power to you

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  67. Proper investigation required and culprits like vulture journos , directors, producers and their fratarnifrat needed to be booked and charged with homicide.

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  68. Thank you for writing this! Really sad to learn that humanity has compromised itself just for some money- I truly feel sorrow for these lost souls and pray that they see the light. For all those who are suffering from injustice, know that there is one unconditional love that will stay with you , no matter what - that there is love and love within your reach - just close your eyes and sit still.

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  69. This is so true. I stand by you. Don't follow the crowd, stick with your principle & truth. Good bless you.

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  70. Thankyou for your honest writing and support for Ssr.. i hope this is not a fleeting trending discussion that gets over in a month..

    Hope there are some changes and hope people get the credit they deserve..

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  71. More power to you! It's brave of you to share this with us.

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  72. More power to you Apurva! We are together in this.

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  73. Pure strength, honesty and courage.

    Your have lived your life as a true reflection of a patriotic song written by a great Tamil poet Maha Kavi Barathiyar..

    "Acchamillai Acchamillai Acchamenbadhillaiye!!"
    "Icchahatthul Ullorellam edhirthu ninra podhinum, Acchamillai Acchamillai Acchamenbadhillaiye!!"
    "Thucchamaha enni nammai thooru seidha podhinum Acchamillai Acchamillai Acchamenbadhillaiye!!"
    "Ucchi meedhu Vaan idindhu veeluhindra podhinum Acchamillai Acchamillai Acchamenba dhillaiye!!"

    Which means
    Fear not my soul. Fear not.
    Fear not when whole world unites against
    Fear not the derisive stares and looks cold
    Fear not my soul. Fear not
    When the world around you comes crashing down..

    Keep moving forward in your path. Thousand times stronger.
    Whole world unites for truth!

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  74. A very well written and an honest articles.. I agree with you that certain "dim wit puppets" who write disparaging articles with no evidence need to be pulled up publicly else this uncalled pulling down of outsiders will not stop. Sushant's outrage on his untimely death is clearly most of our guilt talking where we regret on not paying much heed to such talented, intelligent yet grounded person whilst he was living. We are guilty of being blinded and swayed by articles to build wrong narrative on such an innocent and sharp guy. His non reaction was taken as acceptance of crimes he never committed. We need to keep this context going as media is strong to cover up certain voices but definitely cannot stop a revolution of change demanded.

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  75. More power to you. May the blessings of all like minded people be with you. Very logical and very analytical write up. What happened with you is really sad. I wish there was some intervention then!! But am feeling happy that you could pass that phase and shine and stand today for similar cause.
    Where are we heading? As community, As human beings we all are either victims of such practices or know of someone who practices all these in various fields. What can we do at large is what we all should start thinking? Leaving aside our personal motives and agendas we must try to look beyond ourselves.
    We can be in this together if we all in our own little way try to help ppl around us and stop this bullying culture overall may be then this world is worth living for.
    Jai Hind.

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  76. Like WHO which failed to perform its duty in saving lives, the Bollywood also failed badly in giving credits to the deserving artistes in its dignified manner. An Association like Censor Board has to be established for such censorsip of dirty games. Some big shots have to be disrobed of their powers which they have been misusing. Your article calls for a big reshuffle in this arena.

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  77. More power to you and godbless you stay strong we are with you it's about time these things are brought to light

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  78. Thank you for expressing your thoughts and putting them out there. Blessings and best wishes always !

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  79. Thanos alot for voicing this out. Constantly calling him depressed for no reason is not good. He was suh a jovial person who loved smiling. It was like his smile could brighten your whole day. And whoever took that smile off his face must re-evaluate their action. This passing away of this brilliant soul must bru g changes in your industry and our society. We must make this a better palce so that so many sushant's can come be their genuine self...
    You will live forever Sushant.....

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  80. This has to be said and thank you for having the guts to say it.

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  81. Thanks for writing this. This is pertinent across the fields.

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  82. True word by word, Sushant was not at all mentally unstable. Well expressed. He was a strong human being.

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  83. Great write up thanks Apurva for telling your story.

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  84. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I hope that one day things would be better and justice will be done to talent.

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  85. Hii Apurva,
    Great, but i think you should post your blog in hindi also so it can be able to reach and understood by more reders.

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  86. This is such a heart-rending piece, yet written in a very precise tone, shedding clarity on the truth instead of attempting to brush it under the carpet.
    I was in tears reading through it & completely empathise and understand Mr. Asrani's angst. He gives us a living person to cheer for as we do for Sushant but sadly after he's passed away. We hope you realise Mr. Asrani, that there are many unknown faces out here who will be your cheerleaders from here onwards. No matter what you do. We're so glad you've chosen not to create any drama & spoken the truth with such piercing honesty.
    A lot of the pain for Sushant comes from many of us who've faced such trials in our own lives albeit from different backgrounds and occupations. Yet the pain felt is the same in each heart and soul. We probably didn't stand up for ourselves in our own lives, which is why we do so now for Sushant. Am certainly glad people like you are speaking out on a public forum instead of cocooning yourself in your own safe space. It gives us so much hope......thank you!

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  87. Thank you for raising your voice against nepotism. Justice for Sushant

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  88. Such an honest and heartfelt write up. Congratulations on having the balls to raise your voice for the right. We need more of your kind to bring the entitlement down. Keep up the great work.

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  89. Thank you for coming up n opening about all theses.... N raising ur voice for Sushant... Yes he deserves justice....

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  90. May your voice reach the masses.

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  91. Hi Apruva,
    I'm sorry you had to undergo so much and can absolutely feel the innocent empathy you hold for Sushant. God Bless you!

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  92. Wow !
    I'm glad you've got the balls to open up about everything. Keep it up. Good job ! xx

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  93. It takes courage to standup and speak the truth.. Kudos and applauds, that too by someone from the industry. #MuchLove #MorePower.
    Unfortunately except for few, entire Bollywood has chose to be silent on SSR. They choose mediocrity over excellent talent, sad. And run their syndicate.

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  94. This is such a heart 💔 wrenching honest and to the T naarative. Every word, every sentence echoes a personal apathy that has been buried since long. Only to come out with true vengeance. we can only wish that more such voices are heard and truth shall prevail.

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  95. Best piece that I have read on the forced death of SSR. His end is not something that people have taken lightly as this nepotism, insecurities is something which everyone face and it takes lot of love and support to stay afloat when the biggies are behind you to destroy you .. more more power to you .. hope the so called nepotism gang , the biased journalists, media companies next time choose their words wisely .. their words have taken a beautiful life who could have lived a beautiful life .. hope they realise what they did and learn from it

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  96. Absolutely well written.....

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    Replies
    1. https://www.linkedin.com/posts/karthik-thepheno-menon_hard-times-come-easy-google-search-activity-6686431982009896961-w32-

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  97. Excellent article. Thank you for writing this honest and real article. Us commoners truly appreciate it :) Stay strong and courageous!

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  98. I really got insight into things that u mentioned that exists in this industry, l was not aware of them before!
    Also, appreciate ur efforts to talk about this topics! It's very well written blog. Thankyou!!

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  99. Very nicely written Apurvaji. Struggles which u went through and connected the same Sushant might have undergone which led to take this nasty step. Hope your blog reach the masses and sushant gets justice

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  100. Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope Sushant and you and others like you get the respect and justice you deserve. It is a huge shame that there is such inequality and unethical practice in this day and age.

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  101. Hello, should not Sushant's death bring about a legislation to ban blind items. It's just a work around so that people don't sue the publication or writer. That had to be banned. As also using words like allegedly, or using question marks. Now the writer is supposed to provide info. If he is using questions, he doesnt have the info and thus no need for an article

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  102. You have written what most of us feel. I sincerely hope that the purpose with which you have written the blog so beautifully is achieved. And yes he was one of us and will not be forgotten. Thank you for this blog.

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  103. This is so well written. Each and every word resonated with me. It is time the viewers like me and you take this into our hands and deprive the monsters of film industry to make or break people. The buck has got to stop somewhere. Sushant did not get his due in his life, let's ensure he and countless talented people like him get it now.

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  104. Bold and beautiful article Apurv.thank you for writing this..writing is powerful...good or bad...if people get powerful without efforts.bollywood is created.I so badly want to name them..but Iam being mindful..dont want to hurt even the hurtful.



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  105. Am all dumbstruck with the reality on my face after reading this piece, God be with you. More power to you and to everyone who needs it right now!

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  106. Just eye opener.. more power to you

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  107. Wish more n more people read this heart wrenching piece of public awareness.. More power to people like you

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  108. Thank you so much for your courage to tell the truth! God bless. We all are with you! Hats off!

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  109. More people should read this. It's not okay to stay silently when a beautiful soul suffered.
    Much power, love and blessing to you too.

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  110. Much needed article. I hope everyone reads it.

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  111. In this age of social media bombardment, we see such articles on news portals and blind items splashed every where. Last year I came across the articles of Sanjana accusing Sushant during the Meetoo campaign. Felt shocked to read it but didn't pay heed to it. Definitely understand what a person goes through when they are bullied and publically humiliated. Hats off to you for taking a stand and fighting for yourself. More love and power to you. Let's not give up and take this forward. This amounts to Internet bullying and hope the police include relevant sections of IPC (related to cyber bullying) in the investigation into his death.
    Thanks for the bold article.

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  112. More power to you.
    The Gucci A lister world is shaking tremendously. Fight fearlessly my friend. We are with you.
    Thankyou once again for coming out. It takes a lot of courage.

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  113. There cannot be any other way to spell the harsh reality of this dark shimmering world, more power to you Apurva sir, the fact that none of the magazines agreed to give you space in their columns speaks for itself.

    I am glad that choose to speak it here.

    Thanks a lot

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  114. Very well written. More power to you!!

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  115. Thank you so much Apurva for an honest and true articulation of your experiences and views. We truly deserved more of Sushant's work, self musing, dreams, book suggestions and so much more. Have always felt he was deprived of the much needed validation and appreciation. Much gratitude to you and Manoj Sir for taking a stand. We lost a gem so unique in this vile industry. Wish you good health, happiness and success in life.

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  116. Thank you for sharing this. It is an eye opener about how the struggle is real for most people who have talent and will to follow their dreams despite all odds.
    This vicious cycle leading people needs to stop and now. More power and love to you

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  117. Wow sir...thank you so much for sharing this. We need to keep this conversation going...we are with you !!

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  118. Kudos to u, Apurva for being so brave to be able to put urslf in a position where u know it may cause harm to ur career. GodBless u for writing so openly n naming some stalwarts. This needed to be said. I wish the Mumbai Police also takes cognizance of this (in Sushant's case) n does make more inquiries. It is sad what happened to u n hw brave u were to fight it all thru'. A beautiful actor ws crushed unceremoniously, he does deserve some closure.

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  119. More power to you! Stay strong! You're doing great.

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  120. very well said, I have been debating about how much of mental illness can be attributed to personality or genetic factors, I don't think you are born weak. Environmental factors play a huge role in creating an existential crisis, this is exactly how power games are played. When I look at a 34 year old boy, exceptionally bright and talented, ended up looking so vulnerable and defeated in the widely circulated whatsapp picture, I can't imagine the trauma he has been through. I just want to bring him back and give him another shot at life, today the nation shares that protective instinct for him.It looks like he didn't share much with his family.

    Also something has to be said about wanting validation and acceptance from an entitled bunch. Who gives a shit about them?
    The movie audience should also evaluate performances for what they are and stop indulging in psychofancy giving wings to already arrogant and entitled stars. Instead they should treat them as professionals and evaluate their work critically.

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  121. Well written Apurva ji. More power to you on this.May I add to tell you this , sushant may have been stressed (depressed) but he did not take his own life. He was murdered (the marks on his neck clearly tells so).

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  123. Don't stop dear Sir. Even if it's a losing battle. Fight till the end. We are here with you.

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  124. Thankyou for showcasing real dirt of this industry. More power to you.

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  125. thank you Apurva, you brave soul. I have tweeted this link and I will ensure i keep a copy of this with all of my safe keeps so whenever someone dares to put our dearest SSR in bad light, I can slap this on their face. I hope you write more and hey if you're already an editor, I hope you also direct - that way no need to fight with anyone for the rights that are entirely yours. You will be the king of your own world. Thank you again - you're blessed and please don't even think of giving up. Every time you choose to live, you've saved another life.

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  126. We lost an innocent soul...will he get justice.?

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  127. This is the time to for all of us to come forword and take a stand for him to teach these culprits a good lesson...otherwise next time we will loose onother talent.

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  128. Written from the heart. Kudos to you for being so frank & open about your journey with the objective of helping others..

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  129. Written from the heart. Kudos to you for being so frank & open about your journey with the objective of helping others..

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  130. Thanks for putting this up. Sushant singh rajput family & fans need justice and CBI investigation for sure.

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  131. Liked your blog and the courage to reveal the truth, but hate the bollywood, the stars & starkids. Need CBI investigation and Justice for SSR.

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  132. Bullies need to be addressed and it is time we speak up. Thanks for putting this out in support of this movement

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  133. thank you for speaking up.

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  134. Thank you for sharing your thoughts so vividly with us. More power to you!

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  135. Thank you for sharing..I hope our beloved SSR could have been verbal and be with us..

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  136. Thank you for writing this. We the public are with you. Sushant's death should not go waste. Just don't give up on this one. Please !!

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  137. Let your blogg opens the door of truth
    We support you Apurvaji

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  138. Very well written. Acting is a wonderful profession sadly it has become about nepotism and fake, power hungry people ... However what you have written exists across India, I and my family have experienced it .. to voice the truth in India can cause a lot of isolation and depression, people are only interested in being dishonest and conforming to anything in the system without thinking about right and wrong.. Our education system, our politics, our social sensitivity is in shambles and I wish more people like you are in it and make it better.

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  139. Thanks for writing this. Really.

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  140. Very well written indeed . Btw I've read your script of Simran on Scribd or somewhere, the ending was way better the movie's . Idk y certain ppl r hellbent on proving dat Sushant was depressed nd even if he was depressed per say , y they're are so adamant about the dat depression runs in the family ? I've read the tweet u r referring to and honestly speaking , they should stop talking nd spreading false knowledge about mental health nd issues,it's not their job on the first place . 'gyaan paapis' everywhere dis days. Regret is indeed powerful than gratitude . Stay safe 💚. Rip Sushant 💜

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  141. Oh freakkkkk!!! I wonder how cruel this world is, how opportunistic and I just feel ashamed...
    How I wish Sushant just focussed on the good wishes and blessings that were coming his way.. God please give everybody the strength and I urge all the viewers the people not to go behind such cheap articles and so called sensational news.. Remember YOU ALL ARE KILLERS

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  142. Well written. Would have never known this if not this article. RIP Sushant ����

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  143. Thank you very much for coming out and expressing yourself. Hopefully your stand will be stepping stone for many more to come out and express themselves. More power to you. #Respect

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  144. Thanks for writting this.I wish your voice loud enough for the paid media guys. They are ruining the credibility of democracy.

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  145. Stay put bro !! Long battle with weak enemies.

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  146. Very well described and m well aware of the pain and agony you had gone through during simran. A friend of mine from the said production house did tell me (in details) about what all had happened! More power to you my friend!

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  147. Kudos to you! We're aware now....
    Keep fighting....

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  148. Thank you for writing this.

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  149. Thanks for the courage, thanks for the words, thanks for standing and speaking up. More power to you!! We need to keep at it, till things change.

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  150. We need people like you sir.More power to you❤️

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  151. Thanks it’s really true mirror of Bollywood black life..how many new comers are suffering from depression and anxiety because of sooo called star kids and nepotism...

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  152. Thanks for writing & sharing with us.

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  153. Beautifullly written and realistic too! Nepotism cannot beat talent! As I hardly get time to watch any movies. But when I saw the headline about Sushant, was curious who this actor was. I googled him and found out that this talented, young, good looking and intelligent boy. Besides that, he looks very humble and innocent. Poor boy! There should be justice for him. He looks more good looking and intelligent than any of those stars like Shahrukh Khan, Amir Khan, Ranbir Kapoor etc. He has more CLASS than any of those Bollywood kids! If he were in the West, his talent would more recognized for his intelligence. What a waste in useless Bollywood industry!

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  154. I feel what u have written is very relevant and resonates with a lot of people ! There is just one life - which if everyone tries to live truly and respectfully and without putting anyone down the world will be a better place !

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