Level 1: Are you 'star material' or are you just 'starry'?
Q1. Have you ever slapped a press reporter? If yes, how many times (and did you do it on camera)?
Q2. Were you invited to at least two or more parties at Shahrukh Khan's house?
Q3. Were you invited to at least two or more holi bashes at the Bachchan house?
Q4. Are you in 'Abhi-Ash's' wedding photographs?
Q5. Did you present an award at IIFA?
Q5a. Were you even invited to IIFA? (If not, you don't qualify to take this quiz.)
Q6. Does the press endearingly address you with nicknames like Bebo, Bunty, Chichi or Choo Choo?
If you answered yes to one or more of the above, proceed. If not, leave before we blacklist you!
Level 2: Do you know your Bolly-Hood?
Q7. Write an essay on why you deserve more than your usual star fees (80% of the films budget) & why writers, editors, cameramen (who altogether constitute 10% of the budget) are a waste of money and should be done away with completely?
Q8. Complete the sentence. The only superstars of India are: Raj Kapoor, Dilip Kumar, Amitabh Bachchan and ______?______. (Hint. The Last name sounds like 'aan' and the first name sounds like Farukh)
Q9. Explain the following abbreviations:
a)DDLJ
b)HAHK
c)K3G
d)KHNHOHOHO (Hint: This stars all of Shahrukh Khan's gang.)
e)BBFQZCE!!( Hint: This stars all the Bachchan friends.)
Q10. From this list choose five of the greatest Indian films of all time:
Angoor, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, Kagaz Ke Phool,
Dhoom2, Anand, Om Shanti Om, Pyaasa, Bunty Aur Babli,
Sholay, Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron, Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayene.
(Hint: Our judges are only familiar with films made after 1995.)
Note: If you answered the low budget Angoor and depressing films like Pyasa and Anand, then you are disqualified for not being Bollywood material. The rest may proceed to multiple choice.
Level 3: Multiple Choice: Can be done while on the toilet, while doing make-up & while acting.
Q11.What are the prerequisite's to be a good actor?
a) I work out at a gym for 2 hours everyday.
b) I work out at a gym for 4 hours everyday.
c) I Work out at Gold's gym near Hrithik Roshan.
d) I work out with Salman Khan and/or Sanjay Dutt's personal trainer.
Q12. If a reporter asks if you are Gay, you do one of the following:
a) Beat him up and break his camera.
b) Beat up your girlfriend to prove that you're a mean fully-functional hetero-sexual.
c) Beat up the nearest gay man (your make-up man will do).
d) Get married immediately to end the rumor.
Q13. Method acting is about getting into the character with the help of:
a) Cocaine
b) Ecstasy
c) Tequila shots
d) All of the above.
(If you answered (d) you are an accomplished star and don't need to do the rest of the quiz. Move right down to Q.20)
Q14. Have you attended one or more of the following acting training:
a) Kishore Namit Kapoor (Acting school).
b) Anupam kher (Acting school).
d) Dilip Kumar (Correspondence through VCD's)
d) Shahrukh Khan (Correspondence through DVD's)
Q15. What does an 'outdoor' shoot mean?
a) A free holiday for my family & friends.
b) Where I go abroad to shop
c) A foreign trip to club & party, with lots of alcohol & drugs.
d) A place where the movie songs are shot.
Q16. You have a shoot today, but you are wasted from a hard night of partying. You have bags under your eyes & you look like you aged 15 years in one night. You would:
a) Cancel the shoot and get a botox appointment. (You must look your best on screen.)
b) Reach the set after a nap after keeping them waiting for 6 hours, (What is the film without you anyway?.)
c) Reach on time (i.e.2 hours late) and put on cakes of make-up and a nice wig. (People don't care as long as they can recognize you.)
d) Take the next plane out to London for another night of party (Citing 'hair of the dog'.)
Q17. What is a script?
a) Something that some producers use for funding.
b) It helps me ascertain whether I have more scenes in the film than any other actor.
c) The stuff they write for smaller actors who cant make up lines like I do.
d) The story of the film for those that cant hear or lip-read.
If you answered mostly (d) in the Multiple Choice then you are already in starry Bollywood company. Only one question remains to determine your superstar potential.
Level 4: The 'X' factor: Because you could have got all of the above right and yet have got it so wrong.
Q18. What is your last name?
a) Khan
b) Kumar
c) Kapoor
d) If none of the above, then list a Bollywood celebrity that you are related to.
(Remember even a distant uncle will qualify, as long as it is a big name and you have atleast one colour photo together.)
Congratulations!
You answered correctly , you are a Bollywood star! You are entitled to a celebrity sticker which you will receive in the post in seven days.
You will receive 'A-list' VIP access to bars & clubs.
Scores of news reporters will camp 24/7 outside your garbage bins.
Stick it on your windscreen to drive through traffic lights and you can even drive on the footpath if you please.
Stick it on your posterior so people will know where to kiss
Q1. Have you ever slapped a press reporter? If yes, how many times (and did you do it on camera)?
Q2. Were you invited to at least two or more parties at Shahrukh Khan's house?
Q3. Were you invited to at least two or more holi bashes at the Bachchan house?
Q4. Are you in 'Abhi-Ash's' wedding photographs?
Q5. Did you present an award at IIFA?
Q5a. Were you even invited to IIFA? (If not, you don't qualify to take this quiz.)
Q6. Does the press endearingly address you with nicknames like Bebo, Bunty, Chichi or Choo Choo?
If you answered yes to one or more of the above, proceed. If not, leave before we blacklist you!
Level 2: Do you know your Bolly-Hood?
Q7. Write an essay on why you deserve more than your usual star fees (80% of the films budget) & why writers, editors, cameramen (who altogether constitute 10% of the budget) are a waste of money and should be done away with completely?
Q8. Complete the sentence. The only superstars of India are: Raj Kapoor, Dilip Kumar, Amitabh Bachchan and ______?______. (Hint. The Last name sounds like 'aan' and the first name sounds like Farukh)
Q9. Explain the following abbreviations:
a)DDLJ
b)HAHK
c)K3G
d)KHNHOHOHO (Hint: This stars all of Shahrukh Khan's gang.)
e)BBFQZCE!!( Hint: This stars all the Bachchan friends.)
Q10. From this list choose five of the greatest Indian films of all time:
Angoor, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, Kagaz Ke Phool,
Dhoom2, Anand, Om Shanti Om, Pyaasa, Bunty Aur Babli,
Sholay, Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron, Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayene.
(Hint: Our judges are only familiar with films made after 1995.)
Note: If you answered the low budget Angoor and depressing films like Pyasa and Anand, then you are disqualified for not being Bollywood material. The rest may proceed to multiple choice.
Level 3: Multiple Choice: Can be done while on the toilet, while doing make-up & while acting.
Q11.What are the prerequisite's to be a good actor?
a) I work out at a gym for 2 hours everyday.
b) I work out at a gym for 4 hours everyday.
c) I Work out at Gold's gym near Hrithik Roshan.
d) I work out with Salman Khan and/or Sanjay Dutt's personal trainer.
Q12. If a reporter asks if you are Gay, you do one of the following:
a) Beat him up and break his camera.
b) Beat up your girlfriend to prove that you're a mean fully-functional hetero-sexual.
c) Beat up the nearest gay man (your make-up man will do).
d) Get married immediately to end the rumor.
Q13. Method acting is about getting into the character with the help of:
a) Cocaine
b) Ecstasy
c) Tequila shots
d) All of the above.
(If you answered (d) you are an accomplished star and don't need to do the rest of the quiz. Move right down to Q.20)
Q14. Have you attended one or more of the following acting training:
a) Kishore Namit Kapoor (Acting school).
b) Anupam kher (Acting school).
d) Dilip Kumar (Correspondence through VCD's)
d) Shahrukh Khan (Correspondence through DVD's)
Q15. What does an 'outdoor' shoot mean?
a) A free holiday for my family & friends.
b) Where I go abroad to shop
c) A foreign trip to club & party, with lots of alcohol & drugs.
d) A place where the movie songs are shot.
Q16. You have a shoot today, but you are wasted from a hard night of partying. You have bags under your eyes & you look like you aged 15 years in one night. You would:
a) Cancel the shoot and get a botox appointment. (You must look your best on screen.)
b) Reach the set after a nap after keeping them waiting for 6 hours, (What is the film without you anyway?.)
c) Reach on time (i.e.2 hours late) and put on cakes of make-up and a nice wig. (People don't care as long as they can recognize you.)
d) Take the next plane out to London for another night of party (Citing 'hair of the dog'.)
Q17. What is a script?
a) Something that some producers use for funding.
b) It helps me ascertain whether I have more scenes in the film than any other actor.
c) The stuff they write for smaller actors who cant make up lines like I do.
d) The story of the film for those that cant hear or lip-read.
If you answered mostly (d) in the Multiple Choice then you are already in starry Bollywood company. Only one question remains to determine your superstar potential.
Level 4: The 'X' factor: Because you could have got all of the above right and yet have got it so wrong.
Q18. What is your last name?
a) Khan
b) Kumar
c) Kapoor
d) If none of the above, then list a Bollywood celebrity that you are related to.
(Remember even a distant uncle will qualify, as long as it is a big name and you have atleast one colour photo together.)
Congratulations!
You answered correctly , you are a Bollywood star! You are entitled to a celebrity sticker which you will receive in the post in seven days.
You will receive 'A-list' VIP access to bars & clubs.
Scores of news reporters will camp 24/7 outside your garbage bins.
Stick it on your windscreen to drive through traffic lights and you can even drive on the footpath if you please.
Stick it on your posterior so people will know where to kiss
Hilarious! You should write more! Also, one can tell it's written by an editor. Everything is so ridiculously crisp :)
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