My yoga teacher squirms on his orange mat. A girlfriend of mine
tiptoes around the living room looking for a pack of cigarettes while I
sit in meditation. I don’t think the cigarettes offend Guruji as much as
her short skirt and bikini top do. I hear him chant the Gayatri mantra
more forcefully and he shuts his eyes tight. His otherwise bright aura
recedes to a minuscule glow as she scampers off with the pack. I
sadistically enjoy his discomfort and decide to broach my favorite
subject.
‘Guruji, is she disturbing you?’
He clears his throat. ‘Never mind, lets do pranayam’. He blows out of his left nostril.
‘No. No. Please continue.’ I beg him.
‘Is it not cold this morning? His normally confident voice is somewhat shaken-up. 'I wonder why girls must wear such little clothes and roam around?’
‘But how does that trouble anybody?’ I pretend to not understand.
‘It causes trouble; for her and for the innocent man that she will tempt. Why must we ape western culture?’
Guruji’s aura begins to grow again. He has unknowingly reiterated what generations have believed. ‘Sex is a western concept’.
It is ironic that in the land that created the Kamasutra, the world’s oldest and most comprehensive guide to human sexual behavior, that non-reproductive sex is considered western and blasphemous. Mythology has it that the divine bull Nandi, Shiva’s trusted doorkeeper, overwhelmed after overhearing the erotic lovemaking of Lord Shiva & his consort Parvati, narrated the Kamasutra word for word, to sage Vatsyana, who in turn, penned the Kamasutra for the benefit of mankind.
Therefore it is baffling to understand why the India of today is a land where pundits get their dhoti's in a twist when the word sex is mentioned; Many religious centers separate the men from the women in the presence of the idols, hoping to keep their minds uncorrupted; Parents strictly discourage children from interacting with the opposite sex, afraid that this might attract the wrath of the gods. Sadly, sex education in Indian schools is also largely opposed to and the self appointed moral doorkeepers of India often confront sexual expression with intolerant and violent behavior. Ironically, the central idea of the Kamasutra says that the art of sex civilizes the violent impulses in man.
Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, believed that sexual repression to fit into social standards either led the subject to perversion or towards neurosis. He said 'All who wish to be more noble-minded than their constitution allows, fall victims to neuroses; they would have been more healthy if it were possible for them to be less good...It is one of the obvious social injustices that the standard civilization should demand from everyone the same conduct of sexual life.'
Some time ago, a granthi from a Ludhiana Gurudwara fled for his life after he was caught watching a pornographic video on his mobile phone. The granthi is the custodian of the Guru Granth Sahib, the Sikh's holy book. He ceremonially opens the book in the morning and leads the ardas (prayers). Jasbir Singh Gill, who was praying at the Gurudwara gallantly 'caught' granthi Gurpreet Singh in the act. He says ‘‘He wasn’t concentrating in the prayers and was rather distracted by something else underneath the table on which the scriptures were placed’’. Upon investigating, Jasbir discovered the cleverly hidden porn-playing phone. The peaceful devotees then turned into an angry mob and chased the Granthi out of the gurudwara.
Osho Rajneesh, who enjoyed the unsavory reputation for allegedly heading a sex cult, once said 'It is because of a long, long repressive society that the dirty old man exists. It is because of your saints, your priests, and your puritans that the old dirty man exists.If people are allowed to live their sexual life joyously, by the time they are nearing forty-two, sex will start losing its grip on them. Just as sex arises and becomes very powerful by the time one is fourteen, in exactly the same way by the time one is forty-two it starts disappearing.’
One wonders how Osho arrived at the precise age of forty-two for sexual desires to ‘disappear’, but it is well known that a boy round-about the age of fourteen is either beaten or berated for exploring his thriving sexuality. He is conditioned from an early age to suppress his sexual desires, as he is terrified of the moral custodians who, through his elders, enforce these rules.
Unfortunately, the young boy is unaware that this enforced sexual repression is not a thread from India's true moral fabric, as is claimed by the religious extremists. It is in fact a dusty old tenet of the conservative Victorian church, imposed during colonized India. So move over the Vedas and the Upanishads, considered by many to be India's true wealth, our lessons are still coming from an outdated version of the Bible. The irony is that our notorious religious fundamentalists, who shout themselves hoarse against western culture, actually seem to be ‘Bible pushers’ in a clever disguise.
One of India's well-known, anti-western, voices is Baba Ramdev of 'Patanjali Yogpeeth'. He is the latest propagator of the 'sex is evil' hypothesis, announcing passionately that sex was 'to be used' for procreation only.
As the saffron clad baba sat in padmasan before a pretty young interviewer (known for being comfortable with her sexuality) he declared his staunch opposition towards those who had sex before marriage, The generation-next interviewer seemed appalled by his intolerance, yet failed to make mention of Shiva/Parvati's 'sex for pleasure'. The lazy-eyed Ramdev, who seemed to blush before the attractive girl, stood his ground.
Interestingly, neither of Shiva & Parvati’s children, Karthikeya and Ganesha, were born out of sexual intercourse. They were both divine & creative conceptions. Therefore, it would be safe to say that all sex between the god couple, popularly worshipped in the phallus-vagina form, was for non-procreative pleasure.
Interestingly, Ramdev, who believes that homosexuality is a mental illness, has challenged the High court verdict to amend section 377 (decriminalizing homosexuality).
Once again, someone needs to refer him to the very mythology he often quotes. Lord Ayyappa, the child god who is fabled to have slain the eternal demon goddess Mahishi and is worshipped extensively across the south of India, was born out of lovemaking between Lord Shiva & Lord Vishnu (who took the form of a female consort-Mohini, with Shiva’s consent). But even in Ayyappa's various shrines in Kerela and Tamil Nadu, one will hardly talk about this unusual sexual union.
Tourist destinations like Manali & Goa, frequented by white skinned holidaymakers are rife with groups of Indian boys bursting with testosterone. These destinations are seen as hunting grounds where they hope to find a 'gori' for sex. In aggressive packs they frequent bars, shacks and parties where they stare with dropped jaws at foreign girls in skirts and bathing suits; many even take pictures. Some, aided with alcoholic courage, circle single girls and harass them by forcibly dancing with them or by touching them inappropriately.
Most of these boys, brought up in an environment where sex is only permissible after marriage, have failed at attempts to seduce morally upright local girls. Thinking that white girls are 'easy' and not knowing how to win over the opposite sex, the boys' carnal approach is lascivious, vulgar and sometimes dangerous.
It seems like we are fast cementing the reputation of being a hypocritical nation, staunchly defending morals on the outside but filled with suppressed 'starers' and dirty old men on the inside. It seems like it is high time that India talks openly about its thriving sexual history.
Here I am, lying with eyes shut, in sarvangasan on the floor. My Yoga Teacher, who is back to his old composed self, is calmly instructing me to direct my breath to each part of my body. Just then, the girlfriend of mine tiptoes back into the living room, I can hear the breathing of my teacher getting heavier and warmer. As she rummages through the drawers, looking for matches, Guruji’s instructions get more garbled. I keep silent and in my full awareness I hear his body weight shift uncomfortably on his mat.
Suddenly Guruji announces "Class over. We will continue tomorrow”. Before I can open my eyes, my teacher has hurried out of the front door, slamming it hard in protest. Once again, the big naked elephant in the room is left ignored and un-addressed.
--Apurva Asrani
Originally appeared as 'The Big, Naked Elephant In The Room', published in 'Man's World'
‘Guruji, is she disturbing you?’
He clears his throat. ‘Never mind, lets do pranayam’. He blows out of his left nostril.
‘No. No. Please continue.’ I beg him.
‘Is it not cold this morning? His normally confident voice is somewhat shaken-up. 'I wonder why girls must wear such little clothes and roam around?’
‘But how does that trouble anybody?’ I pretend to not understand.
‘It causes trouble; for her and for the innocent man that she will tempt. Why must we ape western culture?’
Guruji’s aura begins to grow again. He has unknowingly reiterated what generations have believed. ‘Sex is a western concept’.
It is ironic that in the land that created the Kamasutra, the world’s oldest and most comprehensive guide to human sexual behavior, that non-reproductive sex is considered western and blasphemous. Mythology has it that the divine bull Nandi, Shiva’s trusted doorkeeper, overwhelmed after overhearing the erotic lovemaking of Lord Shiva & his consort Parvati, narrated the Kamasutra word for word, to sage Vatsyana, who in turn, penned the Kamasutra for the benefit of mankind.
Therefore it is baffling to understand why the India of today is a land where pundits get their dhoti's in a twist when the word sex is mentioned; Many religious centers separate the men from the women in the presence of the idols, hoping to keep their minds uncorrupted; Parents strictly discourage children from interacting with the opposite sex, afraid that this might attract the wrath of the gods. Sadly, sex education in Indian schools is also largely opposed to and the self appointed moral doorkeepers of India often confront sexual expression with intolerant and violent behavior. Ironically, the central idea of the Kamasutra says that the art of sex civilizes the violent impulses in man.
Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, believed that sexual repression to fit into social standards either led the subject to perversion or towards neurosis. He said 'All who wish to be more noble-minded than their constitution allows, fall victims to neuroses; they would have been more healthy if it were possible for them to be less good...It is one of the obvious social injustices that the standard civilization should demand from everyone the same conduct of sexual life.'
Some time ago, a granthi from a Ludhiana Gurudwara fled for his life after he was caught watching a pornographic video on his mobile phone. The granthi is the custodian of the Guru Granth Sahib, the Sikh's holy book. He ceremonially opens the book in the morning and leads the ardas (prayers). Jasbir Singh Gill, who was praying at the Gurudwara gallantly 'caught' granthi Gurpreet Singh in the act. He says ‘‘He wasn’t concentrating in the prayers and was rather distracted by something else underneath the table on which the scriptures were placed’’. Upon investigating, Jasbir discovered the cleverly hidden porn-playing phone. The peaceful devotees then turned into an angry mob and chased the Granthi out of the gurudwara.
Osho Rajneesh, who enjoyed the unsavory reputation for allegedly heading a sex cult, once said 'It is because of a long, long repressive society that the dirty old man exists. It is because of your saints, your priests, and your puritans that the old dirty man exists.If people are allowed to live their sexual life joyously, by the time they are nearing forty-two, sex will start losing its grip on them. Just as sex arises and becomes very powerful by the time one is fourteen, in exactly the same way by the time one is forty-two it starts disappearing.’
One wonders how Osho arrived at the precise age of forty-two for sexual desires to ‘disappear’, but it is well known that a boy round-about the age of fourteen is either beaten or berated for exploring his thriving sexuality. He is conditioned from an early age to suppress his sexual desires, as he is terrified of the moral custodians who, through his elders, enforce these rules.
Unfortunately, the young boy is unaware that this enforced sexual repression is not a thread from India's true moral fabric, as is claimed by the religious extremists. It is in fact a dusty old tenet of the conservative Victorian church, imposed during colonized India. So move over the Vedas and the Upanishads, considered by many to be India's true wealth, our lessons are still coming from an outdated version of the Bible. The irony is that our notorious religious fundamentalists, who shout themselves hoarse against western culture, actually seem to be ‘Bible pushers’ in a clever disguise.
One of India's well-known, anti-western, voices is Baba Ramdev of 'Patanjali Yogpeeth'. He is the latest propagator of the 'sex is evil' hypothesis, announcing passionately that sex was 'to be used' for procreation only.
As the saffron clad baba sat in padmasan before a pretty young interviewer (known for being comfortable with her sexuality) he declared his staunch opposition towards those who had sex before marriage, The generation-next interviewer seemed appalled by his intolerance, yet failed to make mention of Shiva/Parvati's 'sex for pleasure'. The lazy-eyed Ramdev, who seemed to blush before the attractive girl, stood his ground.
Interestingly, neither of Shiva & Parvati’s children, Karthikeya and Ganesha, were born out of sexual intercourse. They were both divine & creative conceptions. Therefore, it would be safe to say that all sex between the god couple, popularly worshipped in the phallus-vagina form, was for non-procreative pleasure.
Interestingly, Ramdev, who believes that homosexuality is a mental illness, has challenged the High court verdict to amend section 377 (decriminalizing homosexuality).
Once again, someone needs to refer him to the very mythology he often quotes. Lord Ayyappa, the child god who is fabled to have slain the eternal demon goddess Mahishi and is worshipped extensively across the south of India, was born out of lovemaking between Lord Shiva & Lord Vishnu (who took the form of a female consort-Mohini, with Shiva’s consent). But even in Ayyappa's various shrines in Kerela and Tamil Nadu, one will hardly talk about this unusual sexual union.
Tourist destinations like Manali & Goa, frequented by white skinned holidaymakers are rife with groups of Indian boys bursting with testosterone. These destinations are seen as hunting grounds where they hope to find a 'gori' for sex. In aggressive packs they frequent bars, shacks and parties where they stare with dropped jaws at foreign girls in skirts and bathing suits; many even take pictures. Some, aided with alcoholic courage, circle single girls and harass them by forcibly dancing with them or by touching them inappropriately.
Most of these boys, brought up in an environment where sex is only permissible after marriage, have failed at attempts to seduce morally upright local girls. Thinking that white girls are 'easy' and not knowing how to win over the opposite sex, the boys' carnal approach is lascivious, vulgar and sometimes dangerous.
It seems like we are fast cementing the reputation of being a hypocritical nation, staunchly defending morals on the outside but filled with suppressed 'starers' and dirty old men on the inside. It seems like it is high time that India talks openly about its thriving sexual history.
Here I am, lying with eyes shut, in sarvangasan on the floor. My Yoga Teacher, who is back to his old composed self, is calmly instructing me to direct my breath to each part of my body. Just then, the girlfriend of mine tiptoes back into the living room, I can hear the breathing of my teacher getting heavier and warmer. As she rummages through the drawers, looking for matches, Guruji’s instructions get more garbled. I keep silent and in my full awareness I hear his body weight shift uncomfortably on his mat.
Suddenly Guruji announces "Class over. We will continue tomorrow”. Before I can open my eyes, my teacher has hurried out of the front door, slamming it hard in protest. Once again, the big naked elephant in the room is left ignored and un-addressed.
--Apurva Asrani
Originally appeared as 'The Big, Naked Elephant In The Room', published in 'Man's World'
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